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Thursday September 6th - 11th
When an editor leaves to gallivant in the Tasmanian wilderness - riding horses, tractors, space hoppers
and whatever other vehicles they have there - the remaining sub-editors
are left to run amok. This week we got a little out of hand.
We did our weekly readings. We even studied maths. Okay, okay. So we only picked the book up because the author is good looking. And we procrastinated over 15 hours worth of spooky serials when we should have been concentrating on geometry.
But hey, you shouldn’t let work get in the way of a good time,
right? We got comfortably shozzled (threethousand word of the week)
within a new Melbourne quarter and visited The Lee Gallery launch.
While our edittin skills have suffererered this week, we decided to make it up to our editor by throwing her a party tonight. You shood come and convince her not to fire us. |
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Images from the Lee Gallery launch |
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Anger management classes are a funny thing really. But we suppose you
can't argue with a "Restraining Order" - whatever that is. One thing we
did learn however, apart from how to get high off your own toenail
clippings, is that keeping your expectations as low as possible can be
the key to happiness and fulfillment.
That’s why whenever we have to review a book, the first thing we turn to for some inspiration is Amazon reviews, and sort that badboy out by showing lowest reviews first.
Here's a tip for you, budding authors, If the worst review you can
muster up goes something like, "Not quite as charming as I'd hoped"
(I'm looking at you, jqin out of Brooklyn), you're in pretty good shape.
So it goes with Miranda July, and her debut collection of short stories, No One Belongs Here More Than You.
Featuring 16 short stories that will make you think twice before taking
that baseball bat out of the boot. What we mean is, they are very good
and will make you feel warm inside.
Did we mention she is totally smoking hot? Buy this book. It comes in yellow and magenta.
By Jeremy Wortsman |
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What:
No One Belongs Here More Than You, by Miranda July
Where:
Brunswick Street Bookstore or
here
How much:
Around $24
Related Links:
The website to promote this book was made using only the top of a refrigerator and a whiteboard marker. Way cool. |
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The cover has had a bad wrap. “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, they sneer. “That blue-grass cover version of Snoop Dogg’s ‘Gin and Juice’ is the most offensive act of musical homage known to rap music”, they cry. Meryl Streep covered herself in spray-on latex in Death Becomes Her and it wasn’t attractive.
We’re celebrating covers at Motorola Melbourne Spring Fashion Week’s pop-up shop, Penthouse Mouse. Well, our covers anyway.
In each weekly issue of ThreeThousand we feature a cover shot by a
Melbourne image-monger. On Thursday, September 6th (tonight), we launch the
exhibition of these photographs.
Pull your head under the covers and raise your Stolichnaya to DJ’s Plump and Rosie, Bromance, Barrie Glitter and Gaptooth.
ThreeThousand – under the covers.
By Isabel Dunstan
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What:
ThreeThousand: under the covers
Where:
Penthouse Mouse
16 Market Lane, Melbourne
When:
TONIGHT TONIGHT
6pm-11pm, Thurs Sept 6
How much:
Free
Win:
Bring your unsubscribed friends. A selection of new subscribers between now and midnight will win an exhibited print of their choice. Winners will be notified by email. |
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“Bag lady you gone hurt your back, Draggin all them bags like that…”
When it comes to the proliferation of stuff, I’m with Erykah.
Most of it we don’t need, some we’d be better off without, but knowing
this doesn’t stop the personal pick ‘n’ mix bulging out of bags:
Wallet, phone, make-up, diary, notebook, laptop, power cord, iPod,
sunglasses, highlighters, camera, pens, gum, folders, magazines, books
– shit, stuff happens.
Chip Chop canvas totes understand. They also know Origami and Pilates, and that’s pretty rad. The label’s new online store stocks a range of canvas totes with belting (albeit ridiculous) tags like "Let’s All Go To Mexico" and "Foreign Accents Look Happy". Erykah was wrong, love won’t make it better. A bag, however, will always improve things.
By Nadia Saccardo |
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Before The X-Files made conspiracy nerds into countercultural heroes in the 90s, you would whistle the doo-DOO-doo-DOO of The Twilight Zone
theme for easy cultural shorthand that something was eerie, uncanny, or
just too damn coincidental. From 1959 through to 1964 – before the show
had even adopted that familiar theme – the so-called “fifth dimension”
of The Twilight Zone was the best thing on TV.
The first season has finally been remastered and released on DVD, and while decades of pop-culture parody mean the twist endings no longer hold much surprise, it barely matters. The Twilight Zone
was obsessed with men and women, spiralling through strange morality
fables of McCarthy-era paranoia, suddenly aware of how fragile the
bonds of reality might be.
(Unexpectedly being told that you’ll be replaced in your own life
story if you keep getting your lines wrong, for example, will do that
to you.)
Writer/Creator Rod Serling’s theatrical narration; the experimental
and often expressionistic touches; the soft, black and white
cinematography – it all gives these 36 episodes the air of long-lost
artefacts uncovered in a derelict bomb shelter, maybe, or in a
green-glowing meteor cracked open on impact.
By Martyn Pedler |
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What:
The Twilight Zone: Original Series (Season One)
Where:
From Shock DVD
When:
Now available at most DVD retailers
Watch the opening ten minutes of the episode The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street: here |
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If, like us, you spent far too much time amusing yourself in maths
class by punching 58008 into a calculator and turning it upside down,
this may alarm you: Geometry is chic.
Geometry has never been our strength (the rumours are true, a monkey
came up with name of our publishing house). Spotting Gareth’s boldly
sharp Chronicles of Never range sent the get-cool-quick alarm bells off in our mathematically inept minds. It was time for ThreeThousand to read up.
First we learned Thales of Miletus
was credited with five theorems of elementary geometry. But then he
died of dehydration while watching a gymnastics contest. Bummer. Michel
Gondry’s feet restored our faith in the Rubix Cube, but then we realised Michel wasn’t so cool after all. We felt our research into geometry equipped us with the know-how to find x.
OK, so we still don’t get Pythagoras.
Whatever, he was crazy anyway. Apparently he could hear his dead friend
in the bark of a dog. But we know this much: The math-savvy Gareth
Moody celebrates geometric shapes beautifully, not only through angular
jewellery pieces but also in tailored jackets, trousers, vests, jersey
tees and shoes. If we haven’t convinced you that geometry is OK, these
will.
By Isabel Dunstan
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Ever wanted to burst into mass-choreographed dance in an XTina-vs-Usher
kind of way? Well brace yourselves, funk wannabes, because last
Wednesday night I took another baby step towards doing just that at the
Chunky Move studios, and with $15 and the right pair of directional
trackies, you can do it too!
Your instructor, a gold-hooped funk goddess called Trish, will make
you shake your booty in ways hitherto undiscovered by the great
unchoreographed (which experts assure me is the dance equivalent of the
great unwashed).This funk acolyte may have been thrustin’ to the left
whilst the rest of the class was jammin’ to the right, but the sweat
worked up during said thrustin’ was enough to ensure a self-righteous
sense of fitness which ensured no further exercise was necessary for
the rest of the week.
Not up for a funkin’? Contemporary, hip hop, ballet and flamenco
classes are also on offer for all you funk naysayers. And the proceeds
of your ass-shakin’ help fund one of Australia’s most adventurous
contemporary dance companies (Chunky Move if you haven’t cottoned on by
this point), so your moves also amount to a mini slice of funk
philanthropy.
By Jeff Khan |
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What:
Chunky Move classes
Where:
Chunky Move studios, 111 Sturt Street, Southbank, Melbourne
When:
Click here for the class schedule
How much:
Around $15 per class
Click here for class costs |
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His mother demanded he have a Collins Street address. His pink-cravated
bartenders have served cocktails at Madam Brussels on Bourke Street and
his Gin Palace has infused romance into Flinders Lane. Now Vernon
Chalker has nudged his way in between Franco and Makers Mark jewellery
merchants on the fancy end to land his quarter.
Collins Quarter has the exclusive charm of the Melbourne Club but
welcomes any codger. Well, the codgers who prefer oysters, cucumber
sandwiches and bloody-mary shots.
While the menu of chicken liver
parfait with drunken cherries and crostini sounds decadent, the Collins
Pub manages to breath a genuine bistro air. Then the Magnolia Courtyard
suggests something dainty enough to belong in Anne of Green Gables. But the said codger can be seen nursing a pint of Mountain Goat under the humble shade of the Magnolia tree.
We should pepper some “ooh-la-la’s” and “oh daaaarling’s” to
describe this venue. But like the street Vernon’s Mother prefers, The
Parisian trimmings might be fancy but it inhabits even the most
shozzled and unshaven working-dog.
By Isabel Dunstan |
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What:
Collins Quarter
Where:
86A Collins St, Melbourne
When:
Collins Quarter opened on Mon Sept 3 |
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What:
ThreeThousand – under the covers
Where:
Penthouse Mouse,
16 Market Lane (next to Ding Dong), Melbourne
When:
TONIGHT Thurs Sept 6, 6pm-11pm
How much:
Free
Win:
Bring your unsubscribed friends. A selection of new subscribers between now and next Tuesday will win an exhibited print of their choice. Winners will be notified by email. |
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Description:
We’ve told you once, we’ll tell you again. Tonight (Thursday) at the three-story warehouse and pop-up shop, Penthouse Mouse,
we’re exhibiting our finest covers. There will be drinking courtesy of
Stolichnaya and shoe-shuffling courtesy of Plump ‘N’ Rosie, Bromance,
Barrie Glitter and Gaptooth. We’d love to see you. |
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What:
Meccanoid – Belle Epoque
Where:
The Toff in Town, Level 2, 252 Swanston Street, Melbourne
When:
Sat Sept 8, doors 10pm
How Much:
$17 and $22 after midnight |
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Description:
When war subsided, philosophers let their imaginations adrift and
technology surfaced to change the world – The French sucked on the
creative fruits of La Belle Epoque. Meccanoid provide circus and burlesque spectacular for scenery and a soundtrack of Frivolous, Ransom, Toupee, Glitch, Not Happy Jan and Quirk to your rendezvous. Come midnight, a fashion show featuring Limedrop, Side Show Design, Ok Carnivale, Die Pretty and Maru will be the icing on this very Frenchy, very fancy cake that is La Belle Epoque.
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What:Bounce Where:Third Class, Duckboard Place, Melbourne When:Sat Sept 8, doors 10pm How much:$10 at the door |
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Description:In celebration of their Bernard Butler produced EP, Blue On Blue, Cut Off Hands are thrashing their bodies over to The Tote. In support, Teenagers in Tokyo and World’s End Press stand around and hope that Cut Off Your Hand’s lead-man, Nick, doesn’t hurt himself. |
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What:
Air Guitar Nation – preview screening
Where:
Nova Cinema, 380 Lygon Street, Carlton
When:
Preview Screening - Tues Sept 11. 7pm
Win: We have 10 double passes to giveaway to the preview screening of Air Guitar Nation. Just email win@threethousand.com.au with subject line “Make Air Not War”
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Description:
When a film is described as “full of triumph and disappointment,
patriotic spirit and political tension” You’re already raising your
right hand to heart and losing yourself to orchestral arrangements. Air
Guitar Nation documents the US Air Guitar Championships. The stories of
C-Diddy and Bjorn Torque will jerk-tears by living out their rock star
dreams through technical prowess of the imaginary instrument.
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The earliest confirmed 3D film shown to a paying audience was The Power of Love,
which premiered at the Ambassador Hotel Theater in Los Angeles on
September 27, 1922. But no-one seemed to like it (except maybe those
dudes from Huey Lewis & the News who were spotted in the front row)
and it dropped from the collective memory quicker than Betamax video. Not so, Limedrop’s
Summer 2007/08 range, entitled ‘All 3 Dimensions’. It’s a typically
amazing collection from the dynamic Limedrop duo, inspired by the
golden age of 3D movies. The campaign has been shot in stereo,
especially for viewing in 3D. Limedrop launched their window display at
Kids in Berlin yesterday and they’ll be showing the collection at the Meccanoid Midnight Fashion Show
this Saturday. But if you want to cut straight to the chase and get
yourself a new season 3D tee normally retailing for $75-$80, just
answer the following question: |
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This week’s question:
The third dimension...
a)in the case of an existing 2D space, could be time
b)is small-fry to a tesseract
c)killed the re-release of Voltron in 1998
d)was a touchy subject for Flat Stanley
To be in the running send your answer, gender, size and postal address to win@threethousand.com.au, winners will be notified by email.
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