Wednesday 17th – 24th May

Winter is fast approaching and it is important to remember that the dinosaurs disappeared in the Ice Age and not the Warm and Sunny Age – this is evolution baby – only the strong survive!

ThreeThousand Issue 055 gives you some Darwin-style pointers on how best to survive the next week. Dress in layers at the new Obus store, huddle like penguins in a theatre for Room Service, get your vitamin D at Liquid Light and get your blood circulating again with a spot of golf.


 

If you choose to stay indoors, arm yourself with acorns such as Fantastic Man No.3, The Presets Mix Tape and feel free to wear your Uggboots but just make sure you do so in private.

ThreeThousand Issue 055 – cold as ice

Cover photo by tin&ed. If you would like to submit a cover photo, email photo@tinanded.com.au
 
 
   


Damn Arms Remixes
Improving your vocab
The Tripwire
Zombies
Eddie Izzard
Mickey Avalon
Grindie

Tell us what's cool cool@threethousand.com.au

 


Bad cover bands
Forgetting people’s names
Acid Flashbacks
Charmed ones
Eddie McGuire
Avalon Airport
deep-funky-jazz-house fusions

Tell us what's fool fool@threethousand.com.au

 
   
 
 
 

Whether you want to improve your swing, or just hit balls at the guy in the tractor, the Albert Park Driving Range is for you.

A full day of golf can be tiresome for non-enthusiasts, and not all of us can deal with the pressure/embarrassment of old people waiting to tee off while royally rooting our twentieth putt from point blank range. So forget the frustration of the putting green, Albert Park has two-tiers dedicated to smacking things.

To get the most out of your game, ThreeThousand also has some useful tips…

1) Wear a ridiculous golf outfit [see picture]
2) Smoke something illegal
3) Draw faces of people you hate on the golf balls
4) Don’t do any Happy Gilmore impersonations [that joke's old]
5] Wait until the man is out of the tractor before aiming at him

Fore!

What:
The Albert Park Driving Range

Where:
Aughtie Drive, Albert Park

How Much:
50 balls $7.50
100 balls $14.30
Hire clubs $2.50

Contact:
9696 4653 or online
 
 
 

A wise man once said that you should never mix your elements, but when it comes to a romantic cocktail, water and light can have seriously potent consequences.

Liquid Light is an investigative exhibition into the seductive effects of light captured. Woven through the darkened corridors of Bus Gallery, the showcase creates a culvert of sometimes unsettling, but essentially contemplative environments.

Through photographic installations and visual projections, six Melbourne-based artists: Josh Daniel, Laura di Florio, Alison Langley, Laureen Lansdown, Teresa O’Neill and Anna Phillips flicker and manipulate light as if water.

As the projected light moves, the lines between past and present begin to blur as analogue and digital technology interact - creating a mood of subtle, fragile and intoxicating energy. Remember to pace yourself with this one.

What:
Liquid Light

Where:
Bus Gallery, 117 Lt Lonsdale St, Melbourne

When:
May 16 – June 3, Wed-Fri 12-6, Sat 12-5

How much:
Free

Contact:
Bus 9662 2442
 
   
 
 
 

After years of travelling through shops from New Zealand to New York, Melbourne label Obus now has a home of its very own. A boutique born on Easter Saturday morning, designer Kylie Zerbst has finally embedded her wandering designs into the hallowed street of Gertrude.

Made with all natural materials, from soft cottons in summer to winter-thick knits, the label’s designs and prints are wholly conceived and manufactured in our city, utilising local businesses.

Not one to follow fads or trends, the label counts a clientele of adventurous women (and men if they swing that way). Women who say NO to hotpants and skinny jeans, women who dress for themselves, and most importantly, women who refuse to settle for flat prints and synthetic fabrics when it comes to a traveling wardrobe.

What:
Obus

Where:
226 Gertrude St, Fitzroy

When:
Mon-Wed 11-6, Thurs-Fri 11-7, Sat 10-5

Contact:
Online 9416 0012
 
 
 

Fantastic Man is not a superhero but it’s certainly here to save the day. ‘A Gentleman’s Style Journal’, the magazine focuses on the finer points of being male and rescues mankind from publications such as FHM or RALPH.

Issue No. 3 features Antony from Antony and the Johnsons, YSL designer Stefano Pilati, typography guru Wim Crouwel and, rather than wearing underpants on the outside, Fantastic Man looks into how to do grey suits, pleats, leather, chaussures and ‘The Art Of Smoking’.

In short, Fantastic Man is a breath of fresh air in a world of men’s magazines that smell more like stale Lynx deodorant.

What:
Fantastic Man Magazine Spring/Summer ‘06

Where:
Online here

How much:
€28 (1 year subscription – 2 issues)
 
   
 
 
 

Finally, The Presets are damn near back on home shores and, to prevent frostbite after a stint in northern England, they’ve prepared a mix tape for Tokion Magazine’s Tokion FM.

This is a mix tape that will woo fans in a way that any teenage boy with a crush on a girl can only dream of. With tracks from Phoenix, Trans Am, Quincy Jones, Willie Nelson and Mercy Arms their mix is past, present, local and international all at once, and may give some kind of insight into the sounds that will help influence their rumoured Spring ’06 album. Or not.

Either way, you have nothing to lose – except your mind.

What:
The Presets Mix Tape

Where:
Tokion FM

Listen to it:
here
 
 
 

Let’s face it, we’re all voyeurs at heart. Don’t tell us that you’ve never flicked the telly on to Big Brother, wasted hours in front of YouTube, or been that little bit curious about the lives of your annoying neighbours.

A dance piece and quasi social-study, Room Service tracks the un-inhibited moments that take place in private spaces. Through three main characters, the performance examines the effects of living quarters on behaviour, relationships and energy.

Designed and choreographed by 22-year-old Tim Darbyshire, who will soon jet off for Vienna to take part in the DanceWEB Europe Scholarship Program, the piece employs the primary medium of contemporary dance within a 40 minute performance.

The momentary snapshots don’t offer any particular grand gestures or social commentary, but work to promote a tolerance of space and the personalities within it  – someone should tell the boobs on Big Brother.

What:
Room Service

Where:
Space 39, Level 2, 39 Lt Collins St, Melbourne

When:
Wednesday May 17 – 21, 8pm

How much: 
$10-$12

Contact:
9663 0413
 
   
 
 
 

They said it was just a trend. They said it would never last. How wrong they were! What was once a proud Australian icon has now become a fashion eye-sore from Bondi to Broadmeadows.

There are many ways to show the world you don’t care about convention, but Uggboots in public, especially when matched with hotpants or a short skirt, is not one of them.

They are the ultimate in poorly chosen understatements, and a simultaneous snubbing of sneaker culture and good taste, but what can be done?

ThreeThousand proposes the same technique used to prevent the theft of shopping trolleys from supermarkets to halt this ongoing problem.

A small laser device, which either clamps the ankle (or simply explodes) when more than 50m from home, could be inserted to stop this hideous fashion phenomenon from polluting our streets ever again. All in favour say “I”.

What:
Uggboots in public
 
 

What:
Popshop Art Classes

When:
Every Monday, 6-8pm

Where:

Eurotrash Popshop, 18 Corrs Lane, Chinatown, Melbourne

How much:
$15

 

Description:
Fancy brushing up on your life drawing and painting skills? The Eurotrash Popshop Gallery holds art classes every Monday night, which include a live model alternating between short and long poses. No pun intended.

What:
Kenny Larkin - Blow Your Own Way

When:
Friday May 19, 10pm

Where:
Playpen, 37 Cato St, Prahran

How much:
$25 + b/f from in the mix, Central Station 9642 5744, Glue QV 9650 7764, Rhythm & Soul 9662 4322

 

Description:
He went two hours overtime during his Public Office set two years ago, but this time Detroit DJ Kenny Larkin is at the Playpen Main Room for a bonafide four hour set. Plus Christian Vance, Ben Cromack, Dallas Raft and Askew.

What:
Melbourne Zombie Shuffle

When:
Saturday May 20, 2pm

Where:
Carlton Gardens, cnr Rathdowne and Victoria pde

How much:
Free

 

Description:
Attention zombie enthusiasts: dress up in undead garb and shuffle through the streets of Melbourne as part of The Melbourne Zombie Shuffle. The undead have already overrun Sydney, Brisbane, Ottawa and Toronto. It’s like Dawn Of The Dead only at 2pm.

What:
Cody ChesnuTT

When:
Saturday May 20, 8pm

Where:
The Espy, 11 The Esplanade, St Kilda

How much:
$37 + b/f from in the mix

 

Description:
Spanning the genres of soul, R&B and rock ‘n roll - US artist Cody ChestnuTT plays his collection of ‘Live Release’ material.

What:
Here I Lie And Wait For Thee

When:
From Tuesday May 23

Where:
e.g. etal, Basement, 167 Flinders Lane, Melbourne

 

Description:
Taxidermist and jeweller Julia deVille goes on show with Here I Lie And Wait For Thee, an exhibition of work inspired by Victorian mourning jewellery.

 
   
 
 

Adicolor are great, but like community murals, they shouldn’t be trusted to just anyone. That is why we have got graphic gurus/sneaker snobs tin&ed to customise a pair especially for one lucky winner.

 

This weeks question:
My favourite (US) shoe size is…

a)
b) 8
c)
d) 9

To WIN send your answer to win@threethousand.com.au

 
 

ThreeThousand is a weekly snapshot of Melbourne's subculture, fired by email into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers, photographers, sub-cultural attaches and a large troupe of monkeys who enjoy working for peanuts.

Without editorial independence ThreeThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it – not because it's paid for.

Advertising Partnerships:
ThreeThousand is funded in full by one advertising partner per issue. We warmly invite advertisers who see the benefit in speaking to Melbourne through a trusted and targeted medium to contact Francesco at frunch@rightanglepublishing.com

Editorial Submissions:
The editorial team at ThreeThousand may know a lot - but they don't know everything. Feel free to send information on events, venues or anything else to chris@threethousand.com.au

Feedback:
Heap praise, sling abuse, ramble inanely – if you have anything to say to us please send it directly to talk@threethousand.com.au

We Built this City on Rock n Roll

Right Angle Publishing

ThreeThousand and TwoThousand are published by Right Angle Publishing.

Right Angle Publishing
Level 6, Curtin House
252 Swanston Street
Melbourne, 3000
(03) 9662 1657

 

Group Publisher
Barrie Barton
03 9662 1657
barrie@rightanglepublishing.com

Editor
Chris Barton
chris@threethousand.com.au

Deputy Editor
Nadia Saccardo
nadia@threethousand.com.au

Design Monkeys
tin&ed
www.tinanded.com.au

Contributing Monkeys
Charlotte McInnes
Nigel Carboon
Reuben Ruiter
Tom Hyde
Will Larnach-Jones
Max Olijnyk
Ana Cecilia
Toby Temper Temper
Jade Barclay
Joanna Weekes
Blingrid
Pollyanna
Jeanne Tan
Annie Fox
Dan Honey
Richard Hack
Lewis Mulvey
Richard Janko
Tom Jackson
Nick Sweeney
Lauren Katsikitis
Reuben Acciano
Lucy Morieson
Dana Nikanpour
Kath Loftus
Jonah DeMallory